We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
