It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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