i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
