some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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