I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
