I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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