@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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