I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
