I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
