i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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