i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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