I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
