wakey wakey hands off snakey
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
