the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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