dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think my moral compass just broke
there is puke in my bra ... again
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