She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
