So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
