she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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