he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
