We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize