how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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