i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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