It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
