me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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