Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
