This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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