hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
