Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
