i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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