Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
