Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
