I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
