Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
