Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
