It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
