Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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