We won't sleep together?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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