Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
