what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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