Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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