It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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