i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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