Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica