I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me