Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.