i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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