You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
