I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This is my gift to your gina
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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