Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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