so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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