The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
