So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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