that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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