East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize