i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
