Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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