Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
