I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
