Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
