You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
