We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
