I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
