How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Floor bacon is actually really good
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
