I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
