3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
