am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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