She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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